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I Made A Mistake But We’ve Found Our Way

by Jason Hess on November 7, 2013

Ever feel like you jumped the gun and made a mistake? After realizing you’ve made a mistake have you ever hesitated admitting it for fear of appearing indecisive, double-minded, a leaf upon the wind?

Well, confession time. I made a mistake. For the past three years my family and I have attended an independent, non-denominational church. For nearly two years of that time we’ve been being drawn more and more into the liturgical side of the Church. The deep-rooted ancientness of it resonates with us. We truly feel that the way forward is by (re)discovering the timeless path of the Church.

The mistake is two-fold.

First I thought we were to plant a non-denominational church with liturgical leanings. As time has rolled on the desire to see Refuge City manifest in some fashion still exists; however, I don’t know if a church plant is the way it’s to be realized. At one point I considered carrying the vision for Refuge City into the Anglican communion…and then the mist descended upon my family which was a slamming of the brakes. That event changed me and my family. We’re no longer the same people and we no longer see things the same way. I didn’t realize that at first.

See, once the mist lifted my family and I still knew that leaving the church we had been attending was necessary and so in our haste to depart we did the most natural thing. We looked back at the last thing that was before us…the Anglican communion. So I made the second mistake. I attempted to lead my family into the Anglican church instead of gleaning from it like we did with the Messianic movement. I thought perhaps I was to seek Holy Orders and become an Anglican Priest. Needless to say it didn’t go over smooth. The kids weren’t feeling the change, and honestly I felt no deep peace which eventually I revealed to my wife, which she already knew. Plus there’s also the fact that the current state of the Anglican communion isn’t exactly a peaceful place right now. That said, I know the liturgical expression is what we need and are being pulled towards.

So, we made the decision as a family to set out on the Great Church Search to find a church home. A church where not only are we as individuals growing, but we as a family are growing. A church that is of the Arminian persuasion. A church that is liturgical. A church that we could see ourselves ministering in.

Well, after visiting various congregations we have indeed found our church home. A home that is a blend of all we’ve pulled from liturgical and non-liturgical. We’ve found our home in the United Methodist Church.

Yesterday I came across a quote from Thomas Merton that resonated deeply with me for it’s the truth of my journey.

If the you of five years ago doesn’t consider the you of today a heretic, you are not growing spiritually.

Five years ago I was still an Assemblies of God minister who would have never thought about becoming part of a liturgical church, let alone be a Franciscan friar. And so while my past might see the me of today as a heretic I know the path has been and continues to be onward and upward. The Christian journey should be one where we’re not afraid to evolve our thinking…especially if tomorrow it takes us to a place that yesterday we would have never imagined.

Is the journey over? I can’t say but what I can say is for the first time in a while we know we’re finally on the right path.

The future is wide open for us as a family.
Excitement has settled upon us.
Peace is in our heart.
Unity reigns.

And so while I made a mistake…we’ve found our way.

Thanks be to God.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Dr. Jefferey Feelgood November 7, 2013 at 5:58 pm

I don’t understand the “mistake” made nor do I recognize it. People change, ideologies change. Case and point; stoning/sacrificing to forgiveness, women silent to women judges to women silent again? Great quote though.


Bob Holmes November 10, 2013 at 7:47 pm

Jason, this is so good to hear! No matter what flavor, it’s the local church that makes the difference for our families.
PS my dad was a Methodist minister. I was baptised with waters from the Jordan River by our Bishop (Sometimes called Superintendent) and expected to be the minister in my family and go to Duke. :-)
God’s Speed Jason!


Jason Hess November 10, 2013 at 9:14 pm

Thanks Bob! I appreciate the support.


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